Sex just happens, doesn't it? We do the deed, just because. That is why sexologists over the decades have focused on the physical specifics - how we set about our coupling - and the problems that arise when the machinery of the body or the brain somehow does not co-operate with the mission.
http://news.independent.co.uk/world/americas/article2826212.ece
Revealed: the real reasons why people have sex
By David Usborne in
Published:
Sex just happens, doesn't it? We do the deed, just because. That is why sexologists over the decades have focused on the physical specifics - how we set about our coupling - and the problems that arise when the machinery of the body or the brain somehow does not co-operate with the mission.
Thanks to the hard work of two researchers at the
Surprises abound. Who knew, for example, that there were people who favour a bit of carnal canoodling as a means of getting closer to God, challenging the notion that religion generally gets in the way of a good romp. And forget the myth about headaches and turning your back on your partner in bed. It seems that for some of us a headache makes sex a priority, because it works better as a cure than Aspirin. David Buss, who co-authored the study with his university colleague, Cindy Meston, said: "I was truly astonished by this richness of sexual psychology."
Some of the reasons cited were hardly heartwarming, such as: "I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease." Happily, that appeared at the bottom of the reasons given by men and women. Also low on the list was "to hurt an enemy".
Unexpected also was the proximity of Venus to Mars. In other words, men and women do not diverge on the motivations for having sex as much as you might think. Both genders ranked, "I was attracted to the person" as reason number one for feeling the urge to merge. Indeed, 20 of the 25 most popular reasons for coupling were the same for women as for men. "It's refuted a lot of gender stereotypes," suggests Ms Meston, "that men only want sex for the physical pleasure and women want love. That's not what I came up with in my findings."
The authors began by asking a group of 444 men and women aged 17-52 to cite everything that had driven them to have sex in the past. They came up with more than 700 reasons, which eventually got pared down by eliminating duplications, to 237. Then a second group, this time of university students, was asked to rank their reasons in order of importance, men and women separately. It took five years to collate the results.
A total overlapping of the sexes there is not, however. Men seemed to be more prone to have sex with a woman to gain bragging rights with their friends afterwards and enhance their status. "Although I knew that having sex has consequences for reputation, it surprised me that people, notably men, would be motivated to have sex solely for social status and reputation enhancement," Mr Buss said.
While feeling "horny" and "it's fun" both made it to the top ten for both men and women, the small matter of wanting to make a baby did not. Other reasons that popped up included, "I was drunk", "helps me fall asleep," "makes my partner feel powerful", "burns calories", "to return a favour", "keep warm" and "to change the topic of conversation". There was also "Someone dared me."
Why do we need to know all this? To improve sex education and help researchers to curb the spread of sexual diseases says Ms Meston. "You need to know why people are having sex if you're trying to put into place a safe-sex programme," she said. "If you assume that people have sex in the heat of the moment, then you can tell them to carry condoms. But if they are doing it for revenge or because they want to enhance their social status, then that will require a different strategy."
'I was drunk'
20 reasons men gave...
Attracted to the person
It feels good
The person was a good kisser
It's fun
Wanted to show affection to the person
Sexually aroused and wanted the release
Was "horny"
Wanted to express love for the person
Wanted to achieve an orgasm
Wanted to try out new sexual techniques
Turned on by person's physical appearance
Wanted the pure pleasure
Was the "heat of the moment"
Desired emotional closeness
It's exciting, adventurous
Person had a desirable body
It was a special occasion
Person had an attractive face
Hormones were out of control
It just happened
20 reasons women gave...
Attracted to the person
Wanted to show affection
Wanted to express love
Realised I was in love
In "the heat of the moment"
Wanted to please partner
Desired emotional closeness
Turned on by physical appearance
It was a romantic setting
Wanted to celebrate a birthday
Person was intelligent
Person seemed self-confident
Wanted to improve sexual skills
The opportunity presented itself
Got 'carried away'
My hormones were out of control
It seemed like the natural next step
It just happened
Wanted to make up after a fight
I was drunk
... una bragueta prudente.
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