Ruby's Room: Bipolar disorder

Transcript of Ruby's Room on Bipolar disorder

Ruby talks to Tina about Bipolar disorder.

Ruby: Oh Hi, Hi, yeah, welcome to Ruby's Room its my show on the website, don't come in, don't come in. It's a show about mental well being, and My mental wellbeing is way off the rector scale, because everybody is drilling in the neighbourhood I can't hear myself think. Where's all the money coming from? Shut up this week we're going to talk about Bipolar, ok, Shut up! I can't live in this neighbourhood.

Ruby: Ok at last silence, anyway Bipolar use to be called manic depression and it's a problem in our system where we can't regulate our moods any more and these are like waves of high and low but its not like lar de dar de dar today I feel good tomorrow I feel bad these are like extreme, I've got to shop, I've got to have sex, I gotta be funny, I've got to do show business. High, high, high, to low, I want to kill myself, I want to die, life is hell, and this can last for months and also this runs in families and probably you'll have it for the rest of your life but erm, there are ways of coping with it.

Tina: If you have a satiability to bipolar and you actually become bipolar you don't actually have limits so something might start to make you feel a little bit happier and if you don't do anything to check it or you don't know whats going on you just get higher and higher, until.

Ruby: higher and higher

Tina: Until you get out of touch with reality.

Ruby: So how high?

Tina: To a point where you erm, some people think that they are Jesus or you, you, you feel intensely happy, you loose touch with reality, you think anything's possible which in a way it is, I mean you might be in an airport and if your high you think hey I've got a credit card I could fly to New York now, and if your erm, if your not high you might have that thought but you wouldn't do it, and if your high you think I can do it, I can really do it.

Ruby: And how do the lows feel?

Tina: I can't make the effort to do anything, I mean this sounds really bad, just like basic looking, basic hygiene of look after yourself that its really difficult.

Ruby: Its like hard to take a show,

Tina: Yes

Ruby: Its like you just don't care.

Tina: Yeah you can't be bothered

Ruby: Its too much energy.

Ruby: There are four main types of bipolar disorder, bipolar one disorder this involved at least one high or manic episode lasting at least a week, some people with bipolar one will only have manic episodes, although most bouncing depression. Bipolar two disorder this involves at least one episode of depression but only mild manic episodes which are called hypomania. Rapid Cycling this is where you have more than four mood swings across a year this effects more that one in ten people who have bipolar disorder it can happen with both types one and two. Cyclothymic disorder this is a milder form of bipolar you may go back and forth between mild depression and a slightly elevated mood. But these mood swings are shorter and less severe. Some people with cyclothymic disorder go on to have a stronger type of bipolar disorder, but this doesn't happen to everyone. There's also bipolar disorder not otherwise specified this really means your experiencing bipolar disorder but it doesn't fit easily in the four main types.

Tina: With erm, depression someone suggested this now, that I do, I have an, emotional fir aid box in when your feeling ok you put things, it can be a real box where you put bits of paper in or you put it just in your head, mine was in my head, that I have things that make me feel better, even if it won't make me feel better at the time, like, the first things to go in there were a cup of tea I think, I have things like going for a shower, going for a walk, something that you put in, that in my mind that it might be difficult to do at the time but you know after you do it you feel better.

Ruby: Are you ashamed?

Tina: I'm not ashamed and that's been a journey as well, because it is, mental health is something that is, yeh it stigmatised and people, there's so many instances that, in my own family I felt that they were ashamed with me, and now I'm learning to be more open. In some situations I wouldn't anyway, I certainly wouldn't go into groups and say Hi my names Tina I'm bipolar but with my close friends certainly they know, with my extended family I'm learning to be more open as well. So yes I was conditioned and feel less ashamed of it. I've found the MDF self help groups really useful as it a space where I don't need to explain myself and erm, I meet other people who go through the same things, we find a solutions.

Ruby: Right so its called what?

Tina: MDF

Ruby: Meaning?

Tina: Manic Depression Fellowship.

Ruby: For more information about bipolar disorder contact the mind info line on 0845 766 0163, or visit the MDF website at www.mdf.org.uk.

Ruby: Well you seem ok now.

Tina: Thank you, when I look back over the times I had the lows, I know at that time I thought Id never come out of it, you feel like your always feel like this you never slept really, I never really feel anything again, and I was depressed for years and years and years.

Ruby: Do you think you'll ever have a high again?

Tina: Errmm

Ruby: Its just you seem so grounded, seem so, you've sussed it all.

Tina: Thank you ruby. I don't know, and I think I want to keep saying to myself I don't know because if I, what I've done in the past is erm, said its never going to happened again so, so when its started to happen I've always said no, no this isn't happening, I'm fine, And I think if you say to yourself if it may happen again you allow for the possibility so if it does do something if it happens, it would be great if I didn't have that kind of high again, I've experienced normal highs, and I am where I am right now I'm fairly happy, I've had a tortures journey.

Ruby: I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous.

Tina: Awww

Ruby: I'm so jealous, that's really good.